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The Simulation Hockey League's 39th Season is currently underway!

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» S39 PT 3 - Perfect Player
Jenny
 Posted: Feb 9 2018, 01:06 AM
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No matter what your mom tells you, you're not perfect--not in life, or on the ice. Need proof? Just ask your coach. But what if you could build the perfect player? Sort of like Frankenstein's monster, only with hockey...

Task

Combine the assets of different players around the league to create the ultimate hockey player. Who would you choose for each attribute and why?

You must include at least three of the following to get credit:
Hands: passing/puck handling
Heart: team spirit/enthusiasm/leadership
Grit: hits/shots blocked
Shot: goals/shot%
Endurance: minutes played

You may submit this in written or graphic form. Written must be at least 200 words.

Reward

4 TPE for doing the thing.

You may use only SMJHL rookies or send-downs, not SHL players.

Only S39 SMJHL Rookies (S40 SHL Rookies) are eligible for this PT.

You cannot claim TPE for this PT until a post is made in the global claim thread.

Deadline
February 15, 11:59 PM EST

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Wasty
 Posted: Feb 9 2018, 02:16 AM
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Angels_Otani
 Posted: Feb 9 2018, 07:12 AM
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Speed - Eri Arai, has heart, blazing all over the ice.
Defense - Jean-Luc Picard, gritty dude and lockdown defender.
Passing - Gabriel Wong, soft hands and tic-tac-toe passing.

All of these combine to make...

WHALER VOLTRON

-Eri Arai
Breaking into the SMJHL coming out of a country not known for its hockey programs and being undersized at a position that values size very much didn't bode well for her. She however, took those doubts and shoved it up the hater's asses. She's the fastest skater on the ice at almost ALL TIMES as a defenseman, and puts up ridiculous point totals, and is well on her way to winning rookie of the year. She also leads defensemen in points, tied with her teammate, Danny Mete. If I could pick her for more than one category of the voltron I would, but alas, this is a team effort, I do say. Onto pure defense, Eri's buddy on the third defensive pairing. She's also got a wicked competitive streak on her, and it's safe to say that contributes to her point standing right now.

-Jean Luc-Picard
Not putting up the gaudy point totals that Eri is, but is still criminally underrated by the masses. Puts on a show with how hard he locks down on defense. Odd name, frankly, especially coming out of a country like Latvia, I do say. Part of the outstanding rookie 3rd pairing that Vancouver is putting out. Dudes the definition of G R I T. Neat n potatoes, all that cliched jazz. Last but not least, we have the tic tad toe god himself..

-Gabriel Wong
Dude just puts passes on the money. It's insane how good he is at passing. You know, writing about him right now makes me think that the SMJHL should institute an all star game of some kind, and add a skills competition. One of those skills competitions, being a passing one. This dude would just shit ALL OVER the competition, nobody could take him. He's also got wicked hands, another underrated aspect of his already well-rounded offensive game. Super duper underrated, this dude would make the Voltron the just, like, fucking ultimate defenseman.

This Voltron looks to lead the Whalers to a Four-Star Cup this year! Don't forget to cheer us on boys!

This post has been edited by Angels_Otani: Feb 15 2018, 07:17 AM

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D-man05
 Posted: Feb 9 2018, 11:14 AM
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Being completely and totally objective, the Mammoths are clearly the best team in the history of forever (there's no inherit bias here, I swear!). Therefore the best player would have to be a combination of Mammoth players. As such, the perfect player would be as follows.

Hands of Nico Grøss: While not the best puck handler on the team, he’s definitely in the top 10. In addition, the guy makes passes you wouldn’t believe. He’s far and away the best passer on the team, and arguably the best in the league.

Heart of Gary Grease: Gary Grease is one of those guys that other teams HATE to play against, and that his teammates LOVE to play with. The guy is a leader in the locker room and on the ice, and is always available to answer the rookie’s questions.

Grit of Ti-Guy Emond: Ti-Guy is leading the Mammoths in hits, as well as leading the Mammoths in fights. The guy is all about playing physical and bringing the fear to the other team. In fact, in the locker room he’s even known as The-Grit-Guy Emond.

Shot of Karsten Kadinger: Kadinger is leading the Mammoths in scoring this season, as well as shots taken. Unlike many snipers in the league, Karsten isn’t afraid to just put the puck on net for a rebound. This is why his shooting percentage is only 14.55%, but is also why he has 6 assists on the season. When Kadinger does take the time to pick a corner however, I don’t envy the goalie that has to try and save that one.

Endurance of Wuma Duce: Wuma Duce quite honestly does everything well. He was a strong contender for every other category on this list. He’s tied for the point lead on the Mammoths, he throws the body around, he passes well, shoots well, the list goes on and on. The coaching staff of the Mammoths clearly recognizes Wuma’s abilities, as he logs more minutes than anyone else on the team, and deservedly so. The guy never runs out of juice.

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InciteHysteria
 Posted: Feb 9 2018, 11:27 AM
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Hands (Passing) - Nico Grøss Brandon
It’s no secret that Nico Gross can’t score if his life depended on it but when many would see this as a negative others would see that he has crafted his passing skills to such a perfect point that he doesn’t need to shoot. The legends say that as a young child Nico was left in a grocery store freezer every day after pre/primary school. The time was spent using a homemade hockey stick and many cartons of eggs as his personal puck handling camp. His hands soon became extremely soft because he was tired of the manager charging his mother for the eggs he broke. The downside of this training method was that Nico never learned to shoot the egg. Thus leading to his abysmal ability to shoot. But for now we'd love to slice off those hands and superglue them to our perfect player.

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Grit (Checking) - Gary Grease FlappyGiraffe
Gary Grease is the definition of grit. Off the ice he is the nicest guy you could ever meet but get him angry and your nipples will be purple before you know it. Gary grew up in the bustling city of Flin Flon, Manitoba. With so much going in such a large place many wonder how Grease found the time to develop his physical skills. But when one digs deeper they will find that Gary learned to fight due to being the 16th of 22 kids in a large mining family. He would have to fight for every scrap on the table. For the first 12 years of his life Gary was the family whipping boy but on his 13th birthday he asserted his dominance, along with a hefty growth spurt, by cracking his brother Larry Grease over the head with the remote when he wouldn't flip it to the Jets game. Gary quickly became the alpha of the household and he remains that to this day. Which makes him our perfect grit piece for our ultimate player.

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Heart (Leadership) - Blaine McElroy D-man05
The youngest member of our ultimate player group. McElroy has become a major part of the Colorado Mammoths in just a short time. McElroy is a good ol' Irish boy with a big ol' heart. I'm not saying he has an enlarged heart because we'd likely not let him play for the Mammoths if he had that issue. What I mean is that he loves everyone around them. Even when he walked into the locker room and was greeted with a pot a gold from one of his teammates - Blaine just smiled. Since joining the Mammoths he has given his all to make an impact on the team and usurp leadership from the others on the team. Not forcibly of course but with his kindness. The only fault of Blaine's is that he absolutely hates potatoes. Fried, scalloped, boiled, stewed - he hates them all. Which is not really a leadership issue but I felt like it should have been included just for completeness. Blaine is part of a new generation of Irish lads that would rather be high than drunk - on love that is.

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Smarts (Mental Thinkings) - Karno Grönkjær Copenhagen
Karno is the embodiment of the intelligent man. Hailing from Trondheim, Norway, it is said that he spoke zero English upon being drafted by the Vancouver Whalers. He was able to learn the language in the time it took them to pull up the landing gear during take-off. He reads defenses easier than most people read Green Eggs & Ham, which I must mention was the first book that Karno read in English, but being as witty as he is, Grönkjær came up with multiple plans that would succeed in getting that cat to eat those fucking eggs and ham. Karno has been blessed with a spectacular mind but his big clumsy body holds him back from being as successful as he possibly could. Maybe over time he will be able to correct his clumsiness but for now we'd like scoop that brain out and slide it right into our perfect player.

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This post has been edited by InciteHysteria: Feb 9 2018, 07:36 PM

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HikerTrash87
 Posted: Feb 9 2018, 12:44 PM
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If I was going to built the perfect Simulation Major Junior Hockey League, I would start with the scoring abilities of none other than St Louis Scarecrows right winger Logan Jensen. You can't win a hockey game if you don't score. That's just science. And Jensen leads all Simulation Major Junior Hockey League players in goals scored at 12. Once I was sure that my Simulation Major Junior Hockey League Frankenstein was able to win, I would move on to other equally important aspects of the perfect player.

Next, I would add in the grit of the St. Louis Scarecrows defenseman Thé Dude. How to measure the ways in which Mr. Dude is a perfect specimen of grit and determination? The fact that he is leading the Simulation Major Junior Hockey League in shots blocked at 30 simply does not do it justice. Would you call a rose just a plant? Would you call Jimmy Carter just a mammal? I simply don't have time to sit here and tell you all the tales of grit and determination that I have observed from Thé Dude. But perhaps one tale will suffice. On a recent road trip out to Vancouver, the bus was stalled on a mountain pass as we waited for a snowplow to clear the way. When the snowplow suddenly stopped, we were not only confused but also stuck. Turns out there was a moose blocking the way. Without hesitation, Thé Dude got out of the bus, arm wrestled all four of the moose's limbs at once and yell out a terrifying moose call. The moose took off in shame, clearing the way.

Last but not least, what would the point even be of creating such a player if they lacked team spirit and enthusiasm? That would be like baking a cupcake and then not frosting it. In this last regard, I would have no choice other than to create some kind of spirit capturing device, sneak in to the house of St. Louis Scarecrows goaltender Friedrich Schmidt at night while he is sleeping and then snatch his Jimmy Carter loving soul right ouf of his body. Once I had returned to my Frankenstein lab, with Friedrich's soul intact, I would infuse the soul lovingly into every last stitch of my Frankenstein player. What better way to meld a team together than through the cult-like reverence of the 39th president of the United States?

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Yurt6
 Posted: Feb 9 2018, 01:24 PM
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Heart
Let me tell you, when it comes to heart, no person is better for this part of an amalgam than my man Quik Mafs of the Detroit Falcons. He shows great team spirit, and is always cheering his guys on and making sure that everyone is on the same page. Many have asked how he has become such a good leader, but the answer is simple: his brainpower. This guy can do mafs so quik, it’ll blow your socks off. By sheer intelligence, Mr. Mafs has helped show the Detroit Falcons the way, and no player in the entire SMJHL would provide a better heart for this monstrosity than the Quik-y.

Shot:
It’d be hard to pick anyone with a better shot for our creation than Mikhail Lokitonov out of Prince George. While Lokitonov isn’t leading the league in scoring at this point (that honor goes to Logan Jensen of St. Louis), he has scored only one goal less than Jensen, with two less games played. The interesting thing is that he is tied with two other teammates for second place, so picking who would be the shooter of our creation was a little bit of a toss up. However, the deciding factor for me in pick Lokitonov over the others was the fact that he is leading the league in game winning goals, so we know he has ice in the veins. Again, having scored eleven goals already this season, we know the guy is a sniper, and combined with the brains of Quik Mafs, you’re starting to build a really intimidating player for the other players on the ice to go up against.

Grit:
Keeping with the theme of the best of the best, for the grit category it just made sense to choose the person leading the league in hits. That person is none other than Tommy Barlow of the Vancouver Whalers, who already has sixty-three hits this season. What is even more impressive about this is that he has actually played one game LESS than the person sitting in second place, and already has four more hits than him. He is an incredibly formidable defender, and in this amalgam would add a huge amount of grit to the player. With the head of the greatest mathematician in the world, and the shot of the most clutch player in the SMJHL, having a bruiser like Barlow would merely be the icing on the cake.

408 Words

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emBARK
 Posted: Feb 9 2018, 03:42 PM
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Unfortunately I'm not Wasty lol...

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jRuutu
 Posted: Feb 10 2018, 01:55 PM
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Hands: Ostap Maksimov
Quite interestingly perhaps the best hands is attached to the body of a defender! Ostap Maksimov is playing in league leading Vancouver Whalers where he has so far scored 12 points, 2+10 - that is with no powerplay time. The reason why I want to bring Ostap up is his ability to handle the puck, no matter what happens, he has his head up and makes the right play time after time. Text book example of modern day defender, strong skater and excellent with the puck.

Grit: Geoff Higgins
Geoff is my choice for the grit part, I have first hand experience on what it feels like to get hit by Higgings due to playing in the same team with him and I can tell you, it kinda hurts when Geoff comes at you in full speed. He is currently second in the league in hits with 69 hits in 23 games, but the great part about it all is that he can actually play on top of it, so you got a player who is not afraid to get his hands dirty and do whatever it takes to win. Plays hard from start to end and more importantly - does it cleanly.

Endurance: Thé Dude
Dude is a excellent option for this category, the guy can keep on going for hours and instead of asking when is the break - he asks can we play bit longer? 545 minutes played in 24 games = third most in the whole league. Plays on the PP, on PK and on the first pairing, but what makes the minute total even more special is Dudes shot blocking ability, he has blocked the most shots in the whole league so far! 34 blocked shots and it´s like nothing happened, you cant stop Dude - he will keep on going. Warrior of the blueline!

This post has been edited by jRuutu: Feb 10 2018, 01:55 PM

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Pamplemousse
 Posted: Feb 10 2018, 03:02 PM
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Hands of Paddy Kane-Rielly : Clearly the best player in the Prince George Firebirds with 11 goals and 18 assists, he’s one the reason why this team is having such a great win streak. passing/puck handling.

Heart of Conor McGregor : coming straight from the same country as me, he is a very important player on the ice as in the locker room with his enormous enthusiasm. This guy wants to play and even if he's new to the league and a rebuilding team, at every game, he does not lose his joy and he is very appreciated in the team

Grit of Geoff Higgins : with 69 hits so far, he’s second in the league in this domain and even if he does not have a lot of shots blocked with only 8, he’s doing pretty good so far and it makes him a very important member of the Halifax Raiders.

Shot of Eri Arai : with one of the best shot of the SMJHL, this guy's having a really good season with his 9 goals, 13 assists and the second best goals/shot% percentage of the league with 23.08%.

Endurance of Jon Toner : with a great total of 532 minutes played, he’s helping his team a lot with his fantastic endurance. Even if he’s not the most used player in the SMJHL, he’s actually the seventh most-used player in the entire junior league and that makes him a very important core player of the team
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Winter is Coming
 Posted: Feb 10 2018, 10:07 PM
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Hands of James Johnson - Mongoose87: Johnson being a defenseman might cause you to reconsider this selection, but don’t allow his natural position to fool you into mitigating his hockey capabilities with his hands. Johnson has arguably the slickest and fastest control over his hands on the entire Raiders roster, and it shows with his eyebrow raising puck-handling and passing skills on the ice. Johnson has shown the greatness of his hands during the actual SMJHL games as well, as he is one of the two assist leaders of the entire team, recently entering the double digits in assist totals; we’re just over half way through the season, which shows that he will likely earn even more assists at season’s end. Make no mistake about it, if one were to pick the hands of any player in the SMJHL, Johnson should absolutely be on the top of anyone’s list.

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A super impressive assist made by James Johnson!

Heart of Yannick Berger - to12143: This should not come as a great surprise to anyone following recent SMJHL news, as Berger was recently announced as the Halifax Raiders’ captain during this season. Berger absolutely earned this distinct honor by having a vocal and active role on the ice and just as importantly, in the locker room as well. On the ice, Berger’s leadership is impressive, as he demands the very best from his teammates, starting with himself. This has been accomplished thus far with Berger being tied for the team lead in points, earning fourteen only a little over half way into the SMJHL season. In addition, as previously mentioned, Berger has a commanding voice of the locker room, by always being an active and consistent voice of support for both the veteran and newest members of the Raiders roster. It is for these reasons that Berger was elected captain of the Raiders, and why I believe he has one of the strongest hearts of any SMJHL player.

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The Raiders hugging Berger after a late game victory!

Grit of Geoff Higgins - DanbyRem: If any player in the SMJHL would be the definition of pure grit, Higgins would unquestionably be one of the very first names on such a list. This can be evidenced by his stats alone, as Higgins is second in the entire SMJHL in hits, with sixty-nine thus far in the season. By the time the season is concluded, Higgins is on pace to have over 120 hits! These hits aren’t also some of those soft ones that gets calculated by the home team to buff up one’s statistics, when one receives a hit from Higgins on the ice, they are absolutely going to feel it for the next few days at minimum. Higgins is also gritty in the locker room as well, as he is someone who isn’t afraid to get lightly physical with someone, either to pump them up or just to have a good old time with them. It’s both his on and off-ice grit that makes Higgins the prime player I’d want the perfect hockey player to emulate, as it pertains to one’s grittiness.

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Higgins laying the smackdown on a opponent!

Shot of Iam Essellemm iamslm22: Aside from giving him some love for being a fellow Irishman, Iam is undeniably a very promising sniper in the making. As a mere rookie, Iam has already netted six goals for the Raiders, which is third most among the entire team, and he is also third in total scoring for SMJHL rookies as a whole. This means that Iam is on pace to score at least twelve goals or so during his rookie season, making him one of the premier, young scoring talents in the entire league. Iam is gifted with having a nasty and curve wrist-shot, as well as having a very hard slap-shot; this gives him a great deal of variety as to how he can score on an opposing goaltender. This selection might surprise some folks as there a lot more well established snipers in the SMJHL to choose from, but that is how much I believe in Iam becoming a phenomenal sniper long-term, and why I selected him for this category.

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Iam showing off his wicked goal scoring capabilities!

Endurance of Jon Toner - JT3: By possessing one of the best physiques in the entire league (seriously, this guy has one hell of a six-pack), Toner is able to remain one of the most durable and reliable players in the SMJHL, as it pertains to consistently active ice-time. This becomes quite evident when one simply looks at the league leaders in minutes per game, where Toner finished third in the entire SMJHL with an impressive average of 23.12 minutes played per game. In addition, Toner is sixth in the entire league in minutes played as a whole, as he has registered 532 minutes worth of ice time this season, thus far. At this rate, it’s very likely that Toner will play over 1000 minutes of ice-time during the SMJHL regular season, a testament to how impressive his endurance truly is. This shows that Toner is one of the very most durable and active hockey players in the entire league, and it’s why I believe that his endurance and physique would be the very best to install in the perfect hockey player.

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Raiders teammate, Conor McGregor (who was out for a game due to not giving a fook) clapping for Toner's hard work on the ice.

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TheNextGreatOne
 Posted: Feb 11 2018, 04:38 AM
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For this PT, I decided to find the perfect player, for one for send downs and the other for rookies (rookies in italics).

Hands: Fredrich Koening & Luuk Kraaijkamp- For this I took the players with the best passing and puck handling. For the send downs, Koening has the best hands, having a 78 passing and 79 puck handling, however it isn't turning into results in the sim with him getting the 18th most assists. As for rookies, it'll be Luuk Kraaaijkamp, with a 72 in both passing and puck handling, but like Koening it isn't translating in the sim, with just 4 assists so far.

Heart: Conor McGregor- For this I looked at who I find to be repping their team the most, and that's the one and only WiC.

Grit: Gary Grease & Gilmore Tuttle- For this I took the guys who had the highest sum for defense, puck handling (for the shot blocking side of things), checking & strength (for the hits side of things). Gary Grease tops all with a sum total of 297, and that's translating well into the sim, being one of the top in both hits and shots blocked. As for rookies, that honor goes to Gilmore Tuttle with a 254, and for him the hits are showing up, but the shots blocked aren't, but that could be due to his 9+ minutes of play per game.

Shot: Xavier LaFlamme & Florence Clijsters- For this I took the top guys who had the highest sum for skating and scoring. For the send downs, Xavier LaFlamme leads them, with a score of 157, and that's translating well for him in the sim, with the 6th most goals at 10. As for rookies, Florence Clijsters leads them with a 149, but that's not translating well, as she only has 2 goals.

Endurance: Lyndis Vakarian & Ashley J. Caboose- For this I grabbed the players with the highest endurance, and for that it's Lyndis Vakarian (76) for send downs & Ashley J. Caboose (70) for rookies. Is it translating into the sim? For Lydnis, not really as they are averaging 18 minute per game. And for Caboose, hahahahaha, no. Second lowest minutes per game, at 0.14


So what can we learn from that? Your attributes doesn't mean you'll do well in the sim.

This post has been edited by TheNextGreatOne: Feb 11 2018, 07:13 AM

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enigmatic
 Posted: Feb 11 2018, 11:50 AM
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Some people like to say that what's important is to give your all and participate. Well, I call bullshit on that. What's important is to be the stats leader. So that's the only thing I looked at to make my list.

Hands: There's actually a tie between Paddy Kane-Rielly and Danny Mete for the leader in passes as of right now this season. I'm going to pick Kane-Rielly for this question because he is a forward like my player.

Shot: Again, there is a tie between Logan Jensen and my teammate Karsten Kadinger in goals. I'm gonna drop my logic from the first attribute here and choose Kadinger's shot because team pride is more important than logic. Also, his shooting percentage is better so that's something my player should look up to because her scoring percentage is pathetic. So yes, I wish my player had a shot as good as this defenseman.

Grit: I'm gonna go with Danny Mete here because he is the first I noticed was in both top 10s in shots blocked and hits. And that's something to look up to.

In conclusion, I should've probably recreated as a defenseman because I clearly look up to them more.

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c00kies
 Posted: Feb 12 2018, 06:53 PM
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Breakout Champion!


Grit: The Vancouver Whalers have been dominant to start this season, and it doesn't look like they will stumble at all this season. They are led by the gritty Danny Mete. Mete puts it all on the line, and frustrates the opposition every night with his hard hits and tenacious shot blocking. Mete is fourth in the SMJHL with 68 hits, but he's the top hitting defender and it's not even close. His huge hits intimidate opposing forwards so much, they tend to enter the zone in the opposite side. As well as hitting, Mete throws his body out there to block shots, with 32 of them this year, which is good for 8th best in the league. His team feeds off his selflessness and his big hits provide an energy boost for his team, and that's the grittiness the perfect player should have.

Shot: The perfect player would have a shot like Xavier LaFlamme. LaFlamme is tied for 7th in goals for the SMJHL, and leads the offensive Knights with 11 of them. What makes LaFlamme special is that he doesn't waste shots; of his 60 shots, he has scored on over 18% of them. So when Xavier shoots, you knows there's a good chance it's going in the net, so not only is his shot great, his shooting intelligence is special as well.

Heart: Finally, the perfect player should have the heart of a warrior, and that player is Geoff Higgins of the Halifax Raiders. The Raiders have one of the youngest, rawest teams in the league, and it takes a true leader to control a bunch of youngsters. If you take a look in the Raiders locker room, you'll see a bunch of guys that believe they can get the job done every night, despite being last in the league. The guys are proud, yet even-keel, and the team spirit is still high, which explains why they are only 5 points out of a playoff spot and they have been playing in much closer games than the earlier blowouts. This progression is a sign of something special, and Higgins' presence is felt throughout the lineup. The perfect player should have this heart and leadership ability.

This post has been edited by c00kies: Feb 12 2018, 06:55 PM

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